Sniss, Snart and Piver What?

So I want to share an embarrassing story about myself. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard or witnessed M's unconditional love for me.

I'm sure you have heard the terms "Sniss" (when you sneeze and piss at the same time) and "Shart" (when you go to fart and shit instead). Well over the last months or so, snissing has become an almost daily occurence for me.

Last night M and I watched a childbirth videa on Instant Netflix. It was made in the 70's or 80's and we made fun of most of it. But it did have some valuable information, including a natural birth. When it was over, we were sitting on the couch talking about birthing and how crazy it will be and whatnot. M held his hands up in a circle and said he couldn't imagine something that big coming out of me. Then I made the same hand circle and put it between my legs, commenting that I couldn't imagaine even opening my legs that wide. M pushed my legs back, as if I was in stirrups to test it out. Well, as soon as my legs were back, I farted (pretty much in his face) and started peeing controllably. I started laughing so hard that I couldn't stop the pee from flowing.

Let me tell you - I soaked through my underwear and pants, leaving a HUGE PUDDLE on the couch. M started yelling, "You fissed! You fissed!" I was dying.

When I went to the bathroom to peel off my pee drenched clothes, M cleaned up the pee. It was such a sweet gesture and made me fall in love again. I honestly thought he would leave it for me to clean up (and rightfully so!).

Later in bed we made up all sorts of word combos for unfortunate bodily functions that can happen together:

Sniss - a sneeze piss
Shart - a shit fart
Fiss - a fart piss
Snart - a sneeze fart
Piver - a piss while you deliver
Shiver - a shit while you deliver

Oh the joys of a pregnant body!

Happy Friday :)

So I haven't posted since Wednesday, mostly because I feel like the only thing I want to do is complain! So first - let me vent. Then I will give you a reward for listening to me!

1. Why, oh why, am I still throwing up? It just seems cruel of my body to still be nauseous 6 months in to this pregnancy. I know they say that with baby girls, the mom is more likely to experience nausea and vomiting, but I thought that was just going to be a 1st Tri type thing. Think again!

2. Why is my house such a mess? When we moved in back in May, I had such high hopes for getting everything unpacked and organzied by the end of June. Well, since I am not the one doing most of the projects, I didn't have much control over that. M is doing a great job getting things done on our house, so I can't complain about his effort...but it just seems like it is taking forever! I really want to start working on the nursery, but that can't happen until the craft room and the new basement closet that M is building are done.

3. Heartburn and constipation. If anyone wants more details on that, let me know!

4. People's negative reactions to our name choice. Seriously, if you don't like it - KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Felicity is not the most run of the mill name, but it certainly isn't unheard of. And to the people who think it is spelled with a "Ph" (yes, several people have asked if it is a "Ph" name!) - you are dumb!

Alright, are you ready for your reward???

There are more fabulous deliciousness at Cupcakes Takes the Cake!

Deep Breathing

So this post will have many "themes" - pregnancy update, work vent, probably some other stuff, but I don't know what yet. I'm going to start typing and see where it gets me.

So - first let's talk about my little messi baby. Baby girl has been kicking up a storm the last few days. She is not strong enough yet to take my breath away with her soccer kicks, but there are visible from the outside. I love laying in bed at night and watching her move and kick.

I had my 22 week check on Friday - everything was great. HB was 158, belly measured right at 22 weeks. I discussed my weight gain with the NP. She said if I hadn't brought it up, she wouldn't have. She doesn't seem concerned. To me 20 lbs at 22 weeks seems like a lot. She said she thinks I will still end up around +30 to 35 - which is recommended. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm going to continue being careful what I eat, and I also bought some prenatal work-out dvds I'm going to use until it is warm enough to get outside for walks.

On Saturday, I spent the day at the spa with my sorority sisters. I got my first facial - it was just alright. Honestly, I can't seen any difference in my skin. Also, my fingernails are already starting to chip (of course!), but my toenails are an awesome pinky red that I can't get enough of. I sort of wish I had just stuck to getting a pedicure!

Last night my mom and I went looking for fabric for the baby's quilt. We found some cute stuff, but nothing we loved. Hopefully going shopping again on Saturday. My sis-in-law went out and bought 10 or 11 outfits for Felicity the other day. Most of them are 0-3 months and they are stinking adorable. I can't wait to start playing baby dress-up. My SIL always puts my neice in the cutest clothes (especially dresses!), so I'm sure I would love anything she picks out.

Phew - after all this thinking about the baby, I don't even want to talk about work. Maybe that's a good thing. But if you have the chance to send some good thoughts, prayers and vibes my way, I bet it would make today's work day a little better!

Drat that ice!

Last night I slipped on the ice and fell hard on my back, wrist and hit the back of my head. Nothing seemed broken, and I was trying to stay calm.

When I went to get ready for bed (15 minutes later), I noticed that my underwear were soaked. The liquid was clear and did not smell like urine. (I even made M smell it just to check!). I called the doctor on call. She said to go to the ER if I had enough leaking to feel my panties, and to come into the office today.

Well, the leaking stopped, and I was able to fall asleep. When I woke up this morning, I had a tightness at the base of my ute on the left side, which hasn't gone away, and I still hadn't felt the baby move.

When the cramps got worse about 30 minutes later, I called my doc again. She said she would meet me at the birthing center. I was able to get M on the phone, and he came right away to pick me up.

I spent the afternoon strapped up, listening to the baby's heartbeat and monitoring for contractions. The heartbeat was perfect 150-160s, and I didn't have contractions. The doc thinks the cramping and pain I'm feeling is either round ligament pain or a pulled muscle.

They also did an amniosure, which tests for ruptured membranes, that was negative. She said I may have had a tear in my membranes that was small enough to heal on its own, which is not common but a likely explanation for the fluid discharge I had last night.

They also did a sonogram to check my fluid levels - everything was great there, too. Baby was breech and on her belly, so we couldn't get another gender shot, so we are assuming she is still a girl :)

I am still super sore, mostly in my neck and hips, but I'm sure that will go away.

M was awesome the whole time, making sure I was comfortable and such. I could tell how worried he was. When we heard the heartbeat, the relief was so evident on his face. I know he loves this little girl as much as I do.

Tomorrow they are calling for 12 more inches of snow - Heaven help us!

Monday Monday

So, it's only 10:25 am, and I've already had an exciting day!

First, I was on the radio - Hot 99.5. Kane was talking about pregnant women and how he thought it was offensive for them to be called "Hot" or "Sexy." I called in and said that I feel like any compliment is a good compliment. I do think I would rather hear "Beautiful," but I'll take what I can get!

Second, I was hit on in 7-11. I was stopping on my way to work to get a Frutti Smoothie (if you haven't tried them yet, they are delicious!). I was walking by the drinks and there was a 50-something man holding his chest. I asked if he was ok. He said, "Are you a nurse? I need you to check me out!" The whole time he had a pained expression on his face, so I was already wiping out my cell phone. I told him I was going to call 911. He started laughing and said that he was just trying to get me to "Check him out." EWWWWW! That won't stop me from getting smoothies at 7-11, though!

I also ordered some maternity clothes! What I really need a coat, but I also wanted the free shipping, so I had to get some shirts too :) Here's what I came away with... (all from Motherhood Maternity)

And a quick reminder to join the giveaway!!!
http://http//mrsmessi.blogspot.com/2010/01/my-first-giveaway.html

I also found this great giveaway! When My Own Little Corner gets 200 followers, so will give away a $25 Amazon gift card!

Squirrels in the Attic

So when M was installing a ceiling fan over the weekend, he found a dead squirrel in the attic. It was nighttime, so he looked around, but couldn't find any hole to the outside. Then today he hear scurrying, so he went to take a look. Seems that a squirrel family chewed through our house and is living between the roof and the attic walls. EWWWWW. M is "exterminating" then going to patch the hole up. He said if they don't get out, they will just die up there. DISGUSTING!

My house is grossing me out right now!

5 Weeks today :) And H1N1 :(

So, I realized today that my pregnancy ticker is one day behind. So instead of being 4w6d, I am 5 weeks today! Yippee! The bad news is that I am home sick with the flu - stinkin' H1N1. Doing my best to rest, and drink plenty of fluids. Luckily, the baby shouldn't be affected, as long as I am taking good care of myself. The poor little bun - I hope it is alright in there!

I am also dissapointed since I don't think I will be able to run in the 5k on Saturday. Actually, I know I won't be able to. It wouldn't be good for the baby or for me. I can't wait to finally run in one!

Here's my weekly survey:

How far along? 5 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: Gain 0.5, so down 1.5 since last week

How Big is Baby?: The size of a sesame seed

Maternity clothes? I bought two pairs of pants, one of which I need to get hemmed. I was out shopping with Clare, so I figured what the heck! I will have them for the day that I need them.

Stretch marks? Nothing new

Sleep: I've had so much trouble sleeping. I have been laying in bed for a least an hour before falling asleep, and waking up several times at night. Boo!

Movement: None, lol

Food cravings: Yesterday I was seriously craving Mcdonald's french fries. I resisted and resisted, even driving passed 6 mcdonald's. So Matthew got me some at dinner, and afterward my tummy hurt so bad. Bummer!

Food aversions: Still cream cheese. I haven't actually been able to enjoy any food.

Symptoms: Same as last week, plus the flu symptoms, of course. Bloating, slight cramping, tiredness, sore boobs

Belly Button in or out? In.

What I am looking forward to: Well, I thought my sono was 11/10, but it might actually be 11/25. Either way, I just can't wait to see the little Bun.

Weekly Wisdom: Keep trying to sleep!

Weekly Joy: Telling Matthew's parents and siblings, and 4 out of 5 of mine

Negative Nelly on the Nest

I appreciate the anonymity on the nest. I like having a place to talk about things (most books, getting pregnant and sometimes decorating) that I don't really have someone IRL to talk to about. I try to keep my posts positive and uplifting, and if I don't have something nice to say, I steer away from posting.

So why is there a girl on the nest (and on my favorite board) who always has a negative reply to my posts? I swear it seems like every time she replies to a post of mine it is something negative. EVERY TIME! I wish I could ask her not to reply to me anymore without making enemies on the board. GAH! It bothers me whenever I even see her name. I know I could block her (and not see any of her posts), but then I wouldn't know what was going on if someone replies to something she says.

I guess that is the danger of posting on an online forum...being annoyed by strangers, this is only one poster. I can deal.

I remembered

I can't believe I forgot the thing that started the depression this am. My weight, of course. Since losing 42lbs on weight watchers, it is slowing creeping back on. I know it is because of my bad food choices 100%. It makes me feel like a failure. I have gained 9 lbs back. Dammit. I am gettind depressed, and depression makes me eat. The never ending cycle. Since we are going out of town, I can totally regulate what I eat, but I am going to make the best choices that I can. Starting Monday, I start writing down everything I eat again. I might even sign back up for WW online, since I was so successful with it before. I can believe I was within 3 lbs of my goal and I just quit. I got distracted and quit. Now I have to lose 12 lbs to get to that goal.



I want to give myself a pep talk, but I already feel like I can't do it. Monday Monday Monday. I will weigh-in first thing in the morning, then it is game on. Go Team Lisa!